thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
