now i know why i became what i already was.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
