I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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