if i can run in heels then i can drive
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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