hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
