Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
