I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
