they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
