Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
