I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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