she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
