She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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