Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
