The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
what day is it and did you see me today?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
