The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
