D3 body, D1 cock
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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