And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
