I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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