and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
