The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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