Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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