marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
