I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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