I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
