my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
