is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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