She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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