your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
