He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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