I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
