I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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