from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
