is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
