Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
PANTIES FOUND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
