my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
