before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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