Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
