hell yes lets make some ravioli
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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