why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
