honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
