That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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