Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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