You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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