It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
