She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
