hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
