3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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