hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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