he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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