i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
