So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
