Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
