Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
