Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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