Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
