i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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