Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
